Love someone without expectation by B K Shivani



How many of you feel that our nature. Sometimes does not match with other people’s? When Nature doesn’t match, what about misunderstanding? It is bound to happen. We look at them Their Sanskar will be completely different from ours. Our Sanskar will be completely different from theirs. We tell them – I just don’t understand you. They say – It’s okay. I also don’t understand you. One day or one year passes this way. In fact the story is a little longer. Perhaps that person is sitting adjacent to you here.

Now We believe That a relationship will be beautiful when When both of us have identical nature. We believe That if my nature and your nature are similar Then our relationship will be harmonious. Just think and visualise. Let’s just consider a husband and wife. Both wake up one morning They think identically, they speak identically. They behave identically.

There is nothing different between them. How will their life be? It becomes boring? If they are identical, it becomes boring. If they are are different, it becomes a problem. Which one should we choose now? That is why, we should think what we want. We are expecting that The other person Thinks, speaks, and behaves in a manner identical to ours. Neither less, nor more. But is exactly like us in everything. This morning When you got an introduction of yourself You understood – Who am I? I am a soul. This one line – Who am I? I am a soul. It is a solution to every problem in life. When we look at our relationships right now We say Who is this? My wife. Who is this? My husband. Who are they? My children. Who is this? Nurse. Look at the same people once again. Who is this? A soul. Who is this? A soul. Who is this? A soul. The moment we understand – Who is this? A soul.

We will understand another truth. That the soul is in this body today. Before this, it was in another body. Prior to that, in another body. Prior to that, in yet another body … Right? Could one of you please stand up for a minute? This pretty blue dress which you are wearing How old is this? 3 months. Complete clarity. How old is the dress? 3 months. What is your age? 52 years. Is the answer right? Is the answer right? Each of you fix your age. The dress you have worn is 3 months old. And this dress – the body – we have worn is 20, 25, 30, 40, 50 years old.

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How old am I? How old am I? How old am I? We don’t know. (soul is eternal) Why is it so important to remember? This soul is in this dress (body) since 52 years. You are also in this dress since 52 years. Can anything be similar in the lives of these two people, in 52 years? No. Family different, environment different City is different Their experiences are different So the recordings happening on both the souls It will be completely different for both of them. Raise your hand if you agree with it. Simple. Within just these 52 years The recordings happening on each soul It has been completely different. 52 years ago, both of them Were in a different costume They were in that costume for 100 years.

Recordings on the soul, in that lifetime were also different from each other. Prior to that, they were in a different costume for 100 years. Again recordings were different? Yes. Even prior to that, they were in a different costume for 100 years. Even then, their recordings were different? Yes. Recording upon recording upon recording…. 1000 years, 2000 years or 5,000 years of recordings upon recordings … The souls are comparable to to CD’s. On each of the two CD’s, there are thousands of years of recordings. The recordings are completely different from each other. These two CD’s get married one day. Does it happen?  It does. So 2 CD’s Whose 25 to 30 years of recordings in this lifetime itself is completely different Their recordings 100 years ago, 100 years before that… 1000 years before that Two CD’s which had completely different songs or Sanskars They get married.

One of them asks – How can you be like this? And the other person asks – How can you be like this? And we had imagined the songs on our CDs to be? Identical. Every time In any relationship Just look at the person Look at the person in front of you Don’t look at them as your child or father or spouse. Look at them as a soul on a journey. Today there in this costume. Before this, in another… And another before that … We cannot even imagine That every soul What are the recordings it carries. Is that right? Yes. We don’t even know about recordings in this lifetime, for any soul.

But we have absolutely no idea about recordings of their past life times. Now it is simple. Previously, when I was in a different costume (previous lifetime) I had trusted someone completely. And the person who I trusted completely That person cheated me. So last time, I trusted someone And they did something completely wrong to me. I felt hurt. So what was recorded on my CD here? That I trusted people and I got pain.

The recording was – Trust is equal to pain. After 50 or hundred years of that recording The CD (soul) left this body and entered another body Relationship changed, people changed. Environment changed. But the recording on the CD has not changed. So what did one of my recordings have? That trust is equal to pain. Now The moment I come into a relationship in this costume The other person is trusting me completely. But I am just not able to trust him. Because what is recorded on my CD? Trust is equal to pain. The other person says I trust you completely. Why are you not able to trust me the same way? The recording on that person’s CD is – Trust is equal to happiness.

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The recording on my CD is – Trust is equal to pain. But we feel That if we trust someone That person also should trust us equally. So when they do not trust us equally We feel hurt. Don’t we feel hurt? We do. These two CD’s were witnessing each other’s Sanskars And they were trying That I should copy the songs (Sanskars) on my CD, on to their CD. We want that our habits are present in the other person also. Likewise, they wanted to copy their songs on our CD. While we were trying to change each other In the meantime a third CD (your child) came into your house.

The third CD arrived, isn’t it? Yes. And very lovingly you started thinking That a blank CD has arrived. And you planned extensively That we will make our child so and so My child will do this, my child will become that … But the CD that came to your house was already full. So the songs of the husband are different Songs of the wife are different. And now the songs of this child are completely different. And in some houses, after 2 more years, a fourth CD arrived. We need just one point of knowledge This is a soul. Soul on a journey. Our perception about people will change. And when our perception changes We become compassionate towards them. Some people are scared of water. Isn’t it? Yes. Why do you think they are scared? Because on their CD

The recording is – Water is equal to fear and death. Some people fear heights. We are able to easily understand such physical aspects. Let’s not force him, he fears water. Don’t say anything to this person, she fears heights. Similarly, some people are afraid of trusting people. But in such cases, we fail to understand. Do we can understand that someone is scared of water or scared of heights. But we cannot understand that someone is scared of trusting people. We say – Why can’t this person trust me? The Sanskar present (recorded) on that soul Some time or the other, in some costume of the other It was recorded on that CD. We expect That they should have the same Sanskar as us.

This morning we understood, that is not going to happen. Let’s go one step higher. The compassion that Sanskar they have Why are there like that? Because sometime in the past Somewhere or the other They have been through a situation Because of which that Sanskar has got recorded on their CD. Now we have two options. One is an expectation that They should have a Sanskar which I approve of. The second is an acceptance that Their Sanskar at the moment is right for them. Since childhood, there is a deep belief system That expectations are normal. That expectations are natural. But the moment we understand that they are a soul.

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They have taken several births They have carried several different Sanskars Then expectation will not remain natural. What becomes natural? Acceptance will become natural. Whichever Sanskar is recorded on I, the soul I will feel that Sanskar is right. Suppose The time to gather in this hall Is 9:00 a.m. Like how 9:30 a.m. is the time for us to gather here tomorrow morning. So what will be the definition of punctuality? For someone the definition of punctuality will be I should be there at 9:15 a.m. as session begins at 9:30 a.m. How many of you have that Sanskar recorded? For someone else, the definition of punctuality will be I will be there at 9:30 a.m., on dot.

How many of you have that song recorded? And a few other people will have a song recorded as It is starting only at 9:30 a.m. Let me go at leisure. Which programme will ever start on time? How many of you have that song recorded? So 9:15, 9:30, and 9:45 a.m. The one who has a song of being here at 9:15 a.m. Will say – I am very punctual.

The one who has a song of being here at 9:30 a.m. Will say – I am very punctual. Even the one who has a song of being here at 9:45 a.m. will say – I am very punctual. But definition of the same word Will be different for 3 different people. Like how definition of honesty differs for different people. Definition of sincerity differs for different people. Definition of cleanliness differs for different people.

Definition of efficiency differs for different people. Suppose someone does not keep things very clean Whereas you are very particular about cleanliness You will complain that they are messy. There will be people who are more clean and organised than you are. Then you will say – They are way too clean, it is unnecessary. Doesn’t it happen? It does. So if someone is less cleaner than me, I don’t like them. If someone is cleaner than me, I don’t like them either. So how should people be? As clean as I am. If someone speaks lies We say – He is not a nice person. He lies. He should be honest. And if you meet someone who never ever speaks a lie We say – Extremely honest person.

One shouldn’t be so honest in today’s times. It’s about Sanskars. The same word Will have different meanings adopted by different people. When people were different from us We did not say – Your Sanskars are different from mine. We started saying – You are wrong. Didn’t we tell people they are wrong? You came late, so you are wrong. You lied, so you are wrong. You did this, so you are wrong. Now, check for yourself. The moment you send a vibration to people as – You are wrong What’s the energy? What’s the energy? What does negative mean? What’s the energy? Disrespect. 

Note – The “Expectation” article is based on a SISTER BK SHIVANI’s Lecture. If any type of copywrite or complain please comment below or email us. This is purely for EDUCATIONAL purpose.


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